Bed jokes

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How can you shorten a bed?
Don't sleep long in it.

I'd love you to stay the night, but I'm afraid you'll have to make your own bed.

Oh, that's all right, I don't mind at all.

Right. Here's a hammer, a saw, and some nails. The wood's in the garage.
I have four legs, but only one foot. What am I?
A bed

A neighbour bumped into Jenny playing outside her house after dark. 'Hello, Jenny,' said the neighbour. 'Isn't it time for little girls to be in bed?'

'How would I know?' asked Jenny. 'I haven't got any little girls.'

Why did the girl put her bed in the fireplace?
Because she wanted to sleep like a log.

Why do people go to bed?
Because the bed won't come to them.

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